


Normal

by redbeard



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 11:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5247425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redbeard/pseuds/redbeard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penny Skypes with Agatha</p>
            </blockquote>





	Normal

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little bit of fun while I'm working on something longer - rated T for swearing.

**Agatha**

Penny is the only person I talk to from Watford. It’s not like I even wanted to, at first. I didn’t want anything to do with anyone from Watford, or any part of the magickal world. I just wanted to fuck right off out of there, away from fear and danger and Simon and everything else that my life had been up to that point.

But Penny can be pretty persistent, and after a while it was kind of nice to talk to her – not about magic, but about London and uni and Micah and all the normal things that even Penny has in her life.

She even came to visit me a while ago, on her way to Ohio to visit her boyfriend. Just for a day, but it was nice to spend a day just wandering around the city, eating ice creams and acting like normal people for once.

So when Penny suggests a Skype date late on a Thursday night, I’m happy to stay up a bit and talk to her.

It’s totally a normal thing to do, right?

**Penny**

Sometimes I’m not really sure why I’m friends with Agatha. I mean, we have a lot of history, but she never wants to talk about that and we really have nothing else in common. Still, we had a nice day wandering around San Francisco, and sometimes it’s good to talk to someone who isn’t caught up in magickal politics or gossip.

Plus she’s great at helping me pick out Christmas presents for Simon.

Anyway, I’m sitting at the kitchen table, chatting to Agatha on my laptop, when she shrieks and stops talking. She’s staring at something over my shoulder. It’s Simon.

“Agatha! Hey!” Simon waves at the screen. It’s early in the morning and he’s in his pyjama bottoms, with tousled hair. Surely Agatha has seen Simon half undressed before.

I turn back to the screen, perplexed.

“You know I live with Simon,” I pointed out.

“I didn’t know Simon had turned into some sort of demon!”

The wings. I’d become so used to them that barely even noticed them now.

“Oh, that. He’s still Simon, just with wings.”

“And a tail!” he chimes in over my shoulder.

Agatha blanches.

“Not helping,” I mutter at him.

Agatha shakes her head.

“How are you, Simon?” she asks magnanimously.

“Yeah, fine. Good. You?”

“Fine. Good.”

They are absurdly awkward. It’s ridiculous. Surely they’ve both moved on by now. I guess they haven’t spoken in a couple of years, though.

“Simon, go and make some coffee,” I tell him. He disappears into the kitchen.

“Did someone say coffee?” Baz pokes his head around Simon’s bedroom door. Agatha’s eyes grow huge and her mouth gapes unattractively.

Baz notices the screen and raises one eyebrow, smirking.

“Wellbelove. Hello.”

He disappears behind the door and re-emerges a moment later, also in pyjamas.

“Penelope.” Agatha has her I’m-about-to-crack-it tone. It’s just like being back at Watford. “What. The. Hell. Is going on here?”

In the little picture-in-picture window I see Baz loom up behind me.

“I suppose Bunce never told you, then?”

“Told me what.” It’s not a question.

“That Simon is my boyfriend.”

**Agatha**

I have never been more glad I left England than I am right now. Simon has wings and a tail and is dating his nemesis who is also a vampire.

Simon is a fucking idiot.

I ignore Baz and address Penny.

“Simon has wings and a tail.”

“Yes.”

“And Simon is dating Baz.”

“Yes.”

“Baz who he hates.”

“Hated. They seem pretty over it now.”

“Baz who is a vampire?”

“Er, yes. But he’s a … good vampire?”

I roll my eyes at her.

“And you are ok with all this?”

Penny shrugs.

“Sure.”

I can’t even deal with this.

**Penny**

Agatha puts her head in her hands and her shoulders start shaking. I think she might be crying, but when she looks up again she’s laughing.

“You find this funny?” I’m kind of relieved.

“I find this fucking hilarious, Penny,” she says. “This is exactly why I left in the first place.”

“You left because of Simon and Baz?”

She looks confused.

“Were they a thing before I left? No, I left because of the danger, and the drama, and the ridiculousness. Simon is dating _Baz_. Who is a _vampire_. It’s like his life isn’t stupid and dangerous enough.”

“We haven’t done anything dangerous since you left, Wellbelove.” Baz’s tone is light but I can tell he’s pissed off. “Not unless you count giving Simon vindaloo on a regular basis.”

“Give it time,” says Agatha. “You’ll find some way to endanger yourselves. Penny, I’m going to bed. I’ll talk to you later.”

She closes Skype before I have a chance to respond. I close the laptop.

Simon comes back in with the coffee.

“Where’s Agatha?”

I shake my head, and look at Baz.

“You explain,” I tell him.


End file.
